you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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