im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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