wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tasted many bathrooms
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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