Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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