dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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