last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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