Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize