i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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