haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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