From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize