I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize