god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
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Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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