Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
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If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize