none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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