okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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