and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize