I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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