I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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