drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize