i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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