I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize