Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
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Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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