I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize