Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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