I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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