I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
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i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
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I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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