Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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