I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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