woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
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Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
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You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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