i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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