apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
