We're facebook friends in real life
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
people are starting to question the shark bite story
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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