So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize