He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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