why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize