Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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