Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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