Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
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Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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