I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
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Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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