This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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