I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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