She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize