I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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