Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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