In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize