She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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