I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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