Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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