I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So much rum. So many feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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