You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
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she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
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I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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