I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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